Falling Into Blue Read online

  She was patting my back and stroking my hair, trying to calm me when I heard her mumble, “Well, I’m calling his momma.”

  I froze and started begging as I swung my head from her lap to look up at her. “No Grandma. Please promise me. Not that.”

  As she looked into my eyes, she got a satisfied grin as she put an ear towards the kitchen to listen and when she realized my brothers were no longer in the house, she patted my cheek and promised, “Okay, sweetheart. I won’t do anything. I won’t need to.” The next day at school I got what she meant when she said she wouldn’t need to. I saw Harry walking down the hall with a black eye and busted lip. I stood watching him and when he finally noticed me he stopped and turned around hastily, almost knocking another student down and rushed off the other way. I smiled the same satisfied grin my grandma had when I realized my brothers had taken care of me, but in their own way. That was also the year my grandma taught me about something else that would help mend a broken heart. She walked us into the kitchen and pulled a gallon of rocky road ice cream from the freezer and placed it on the table between us and grabbed two spoons. Together we sat and ate most of that gallon and I admit, I felt better.

  Rocky tells me about an older brother, Linc, who moved to Lubbock out in West Texas a few years ago and bought a ranch, and only comes in once in a while to see their mom. He shares that his dad is a doctor at one of the hospitals in town and isn’t home much. He talks a little about his mother, Lina, who, about the same time Linc moved to Lubbock, became ill with a rare muscular disease and its effects has her bound to a wheelchair to get around. He talks briefly about his enlistment in the Navy. After his enlistment was up and because of his mom’s illness and being gone sometimes six months at a time, he decided to not re-up and instead come back to town to be near her. Now he’s working as a mechanic at one of his buddy’s garages, and I tell him about working as a cashier at Dan’s Grocer.

  By this time we’re turning off an old dirt road onto what looks like a private property drive. After heading down about half-mile, I see a log cabin nestled between some live oaks. It’s lovely. He parks out front and turns to me and says, “This is my family’s place. There’s a little dock a few yards down a path on the other side of the cabin. We’ll go inside and I’ll show you around so you can get changed while I load the stuff down to the dock, okay?”

  “Sounds good,” I say as I reach for my tote and purse.

  We get out of the car and after he unlocks the cabin door, he gives me a tour. It’s a beautiful cabin decorated with country chic decor. I’m in love with it. It has a fireplace, three bedrooms and two bathrooms. The kitchen has white cabinets with mint green framing. The counters and backsplash are really cool. It looks like mosaic tiles puzzled together in pastel colors. All the beds are decorated with beautiful thick patchwork quilts. The living room has a huge brown leather sectional that looks worn and soft and it sits in front of the fireplace with a large-screen television off to the side with game systems stored beneath it in a console. The shared bathroom has just the basics with a standing shower and freestanding vanity with pretty brass fixtures. The master bath has an old-fashioned claw foot tub with standing towel racks with beautiful forest green bath towels hanging from it. This is heaven. This is nothing like the cabin my family spent our summers at, but ours was just as beautiful. We come back to the kitchen area that holds a picnic-style table with a big empty ceramic bowl on top. The side benches aren’t attached and there are mismatched chairs at the ends. A beautiful bay window runs along that wall with a view of the lake and dock. I see there’s also a porch with some Adirondack chairs with some pots for plants, which at the moment are empty.

  “You can get changed in the master bedroom. Since my mom took ill, no one comes up here, so it’s become my place. When I’m in town working I stay at our family home, but the rest of my time, I’m here,” he says as he looks around the room and back at me. “You’re the first girl I’ve ever brought up here. Actually the first person I’ve ever brought.” That sends happy vibes throughout me. My tummy flutters along with my heart. Then he says, “you can just store your bag in there for now,” and he leans down and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’ll go get the stuff moved down to the dock. You come down when you’re ready.” He grabs a boom box-style stereo and walks out the back door and down the steps of the back porch heading towards the dock. I stand, watching him for a few minutes and then grab my bags and head back to the master bedroom to get changed. I take off my hat and glasses and drop them into my bag and then get changed. I feel a little nervous. Maybe this was too fast, I think, but I really like him so here it goes, and I release a big sigh.

  I’m wearing a black bikini with rhinestones along the top waistband of the bottom and around the cups of the top. It’s flashy but only because of the rhinestones, not the suit itself. Its style is conservative compared to most. I pull my beach towel around me and start out the back door towards the path and I see the dock with Rocky sitting at the end, legs hanging over the side, ankles crossed. I stare for a moment and then start down the dock. When he hears me he jumps up and walks towards me, smiling.

  “Okay, I have tons of CDs, so take your pick and load it into the stereo while I grab a couple of beers. It’s hot out here, so you okay with taking a swim?” he asks while walking towards the cooler.

  “Yeah, sounds awesome,” I say, because it is freaking hot and the water looks refreshing.

  I start flipping through the CDs when I finally see one that I like, Eric Church’s The Outsiders. It’s one of my favorites and I’ve practically worn mine out. I raise it up to show him and he smiles at my choice. I pop it in and stand back up as he hands me a beer. After we both take a long pull, he sets his down and takes off his cap and Oakley’s and then reaches behind his neck and pulls his shirt off. Wow. I gawk and he sees me doing it and I don’t care. This is the first really good look I’ve gotten of him, and I like it. His legs and arms are solid muscle and his chest hairless and smooth, shoulders wide along with his jaw. He has nice lips, very nice lips, and grey, no, silver, eyes that sparkle with blonde hair. He’s one of the best-looking men I’ve ever seen. Now it’s his turn. He pulls my towel off and gives his eyes the same leisurely tour of my body that mine had with his and as his eyes finally make their way back to mine, he smiles.

  “I think I’m ready for that swim now,” I blurt out as I start towards the end of the dock with him following. I look around and see a ladder off the side of the dock and a few floating loungers stored underneath the dock.

  “I think that’s a good idea. I need to cool down after seeing you in that bikini. Damn, Jaycee, you’re fucking beautiful,” he says bluntly.

  I laugh nervously. Then he stuns me when he grabs at me, pulling me close, and jumps off the end of the dock into the water, all the while holding me. We surface, laughing, and he lets me go to push his hair out of his face. The water is perfect. It’s lukewarm from the sun but refreshing. I start to swim but he pulls me back to him.

  “Where you going, baby?” he asks as he grabs me around the waist and then slides his hands down to my butt and pulls me closer. His hands start traveling down the back of my thighs to behind my knees where he pulls them up so I can link them around his waist. In this position, I’m a little higher than him so I look down to see him watching me. I stare into his eyes for a moment and then lower my lips to his and we start kissing. At first our lips are just locked and he’s running his tongue along my lower lip but then he grabs my bottom lip down gently with his teeth and as I open my mouth, his tongue slips in and we both groan. We stay kissing and tasting each other while floating and bobbing in the water. I can hear Eric Church singing “A Man Who Was Gonna Die Young,” and I’m feeling things I’ve never felt all over my body and I want more and more. He feels it too and starts slipping his hand from my waist down my tummy and starts to slide them into my bottoms when he feels me tense and stops. I don’t me
an to tense up, but I’m scared. I’ve never been touched there and even though my body wants it, it’s still unknown. This is a huge step with feelings I’ve never had. I’m entering into new territory.

  He pulls back from our kiss and when I open my eyes, I see him looking up at me with soft eyes. “Jaycee, how many boyfriends have you had?”

  I raise my hand from the water and hold up one finger.

  He looks down at it and then back at me. “Baby, how many men have you been with?”

  My eyes start to tear up as I shake my head no.

  “Baby, will you stay with me tonight? I want to be with you. Do you want to be with me?” he’s asking while hugging me closer under the water.

  “Yes and yes. But I need to call my grandma and let her know I won’t be back. I don’t want her to worry,” I reply as a few tears I can’t help are dropping down my cheeks.

  “Okay. Let’s go back to the cabin. The signal is better and you can call your grandma.” He swims us to the dock’s ladder and climbs up and then reaches back for me and pulls me up. With my hand still in his, he grabs my towel and hands it to me. As we start back down the path he says, “The cabin has food and drinks so I’ll come back for the rest of this later.”

  When we walk inside the cabin he turns to me and says, “Are you hungry or thirsty? I can fix us something while you call your grandma.”

  I’m not really hungry or thirsty but I do need a minute to make the call so I tell him, “Sure, whatever you have? Um, do you mind if I excuse myself and use your bedroom to make the call?” I reach down and grab my phone.

  “Sure, baby, go ahead,” he replies. I don’t know where this “baby” business came from, but I really like it.

  After a quick call to my grandma and a short lecture on being safe in all ways that makes me cringe, I return to the living room to see Rocky going through all the cabinets looking around. When he turns to look in the fridge, he notices me standing off to the side of the room and waves me over.

  “Well, how hungry are you because I’m not as well stocked as I thought I was. We can dress and head into town and eat or we can dine on fudge, chips, and jerky. What’s your pleasure?” he asks while still glancing around the kitchen.

  “Fudge, chips, and jerky,” I whisper and he jerks his head back down to me.

  He takes a few steps towards me and whispers back, “Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured or scared. We can take it slow. As much time as you need,” and he gently pulls me into his arms and starts lowering his head to mine.

  “I’m sure,” I say against his lips and then we’re kissing again. It starts sweet and slow but turns desperate. His kisses leave my lips and start across my cheek and down to my neck and I shiver as he runs his tongue down to my collarbone. I dig my nails into his back in response and pull him closer. When I do that he abruptly stops and lifts me up by my butt and my legs automatically wrap around his waist and he heads towards the bedroom. So much for taking it slow.

  Chapter 8

  When we get into the bedroom he sets me on my feet and starts untying the straps of my bikini top but watching me for any signs that I’m getting scared. When he gets it untied he pulls it off and drops it to the floor. He runs his hands across my breasts and looks back at me one more time before he lowers his head and takes turns taking them into his mouth. I can’t do anything but hold on to his shoulders to keep from falling. He starts walking me backwards until the back of my legs hit the edge of the bed and I fall backwards on it. He doesn’t follow me down. He stands staring and then reaches for the sides of my bikini bottoms and starts sliding them down my legs. When he gets them past my feet he drops them to the floor next to the top. He grabs my legs behind the knees, spreading me wide.

  I lock my legs, not sure what’s about to happen, when he looks into my eyes and nods, “Let me see you, baby,” and I start taking calming breaths and relax my legs. He slowly pulls them apart and lowers his head to kiss the inside of each of my knees and then keeps kissing, getting closer to me until I can feel his breath there and I moan.

  “Just relax, baby, I need to get you ready,” he says.

  Oh my God, this is really happening after all this time and then I feel him there, kissing me. My back bows off the bed but he wraps his arms behind my legs and brings his hands to my tummy, holding me in place while he keeps tasting and kissing me. He lowers one of his hands and I feel his fingers rubbing around my entrance and he slowly pushes one in. It feels good until he hits a certain point. I start to feel a pinch but he pulls his finger back out. He keeps pushing his finger in and out, not going in too far and at the same time kissing me until I feel a pulling start in my stomach and I start writhing around, trying to catch the feeling, but not sure what’s going on.

  “Jaycee, baby, relax and come for me. Come on, baby,” he spurs on as the speed of his kissing increases along with his finger, and then, suddenly, there’s an explosion. My back bows off the bed and I see stars. Slowly, my body starts coming back from a numbing feeling. Gently, he says, “Baby, open your eyes and look at me.” When I do, I see his eyes burning into mine and he declares, “You’re mine now.” He’s putting on a condom and then I feel him position himself at my entrance. He’s holding himself and gently pushing in little by little. His other hand is on the side of my face, cupping my cheek to keep my head steady and our eyes locked. Again, he declares, “You are mine, baby. Do you understand?”

  I nod and whisper, “yes,” even though I’m not really sure what he’s saying, but this is in the moment, so I go with it.

  “Good,” he says, “because now that you’re mine, I’m going to make you feel good,” and he pushes himself all the way in and I gasp in pain as tears stream down the side of my face and into my hair. He looks back at me, wiping my tears with his thumbs and keeps moving in and out. “Give it a minute, baby, and it’ll feel good. Fuck, you feel good. I’ve waited forever for you and now that you’re mine, I’m never letting you go, ever.” I know these are strong words so soon, but I figure maybe he’s feeling what I’m feeling in the moment, so that’s okay with me. He keeps moving and then his thrusts become stronger and stronger. He’s right. I start to feel it building again when he brings his lips back to mine and kisses me hard. “Baby, now, hurry. I’m coming,” he says against my lips and then drops one of his hands to my nipple and pinches it between his finger and thumb and I explode and I feel him moan his release right behind me.

  Afterwards, he brings me into the bathroom and gets rid of the condom. He warms a washcloth under water, and gently cleans the light trace of blood off of me. He turns out the bathroom light and pulls me back to the bed and we lay down. I place my head on his chest and my arm across his stomach and he wraps his around my back and pulls me to him until we are on our sides, face-to-face in each other’s arms. We lay like that for a little while, just touching each other, when he finally pulls away and gets up out of the bed and walks into the kitchen. He comes back a few minutes later with the jerky, fudge, and a couple of bottles of sodas. He’s smiling. I can’t help but smile too, and after munching on our snacks and talking some more, we clean up and then settle back into bed for the night. I can feel the heat of his breath at the temple of my head and I hear him whisper, sounding scared and unsure of himself, “Jaycee, I’ve never felt these feelings before. Just being around you, these feelings, it’s new. Your sweet young heart and pureness. Your innocence,” I feel him take in a deep breath and release it as his arms tighten on me. “I’ve never ever known someone like you. I think I need you. You give me hope. Promise me you’re mine and I can keep you forever? Promise me, baby.”

  I don’t want to be anywhere other than where I am now so I promise, “I’m yours, Rocky, I promise.” I’ve been so lonely. He’s giving me hope too. Though what I’m feeling is strong and new to me, I think I know what it is.

  But Rocky still shocks me when he says, “Jaycee, I
think I just fell in love with you. I don’t know what the hell you’ve done to me but I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.” I relax into him. Maybe he can help me heal and fill some of the emptiness in my heart after the loss of my grandpa.

  Little did I know that I couldn’t have been more wrong about Rocky. Not only will I be wrong, but I’ll have to fight for my life and for the life of my family and for the only man I wanted since I can remember, with all that I have. But in this moment, I share back with him, “I think I feel the same, Rocky,” and we fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms, dreaming. When I wake in the morning, a real life nightmare begins. My nightmare.

  Chapter 9

  When I wake in the morning, I forget where I am for a second but then I look around and remember. Rocky and me. I’m a little sore but nothing too bad. Rocky’s not in the bed with me so I throw on my clothes from yesterday and go into the bathroom. I find some toothpaste and open the bottom cabinets of the sink and find an unopened toothbrush and I use it to brush my teeth and then wash my face and brush out my hair. I make a mental note to replace the toothbrush that I used as I walk down the hallway toward the main area, but I still don’t hear or see him. When I get to the kitchen I look out the window at the view and I can see Rocky walking down the path towards the dock. I look around the kitchen and see he’s made coffee so I make a cup and sip on it while waiting for him, but he doesn’t come back.

  I start thinking maybe he needs help packing up things from yesterday, so I head out back and start down the path. I can hear his voice coming up ahead. He’s talking, but only him. He must be on the phone. When I start forward again and hear what he’s saying, I freeze in place and start shaking. Confused and shocked, I turn to head back to the cabin but I can’t move. I hear him tell someone, “I told you I’d be over when I come over. I’m busy right now.” He pauses for a second and yells, “Fuck you, Kelly! You don’t and never will have my ring on your finger” I hear him laugh a cruel laugh before he says, “Stop threatening me. You know I’ll have no problem ending you for good,” he pauses again, “You’ll get it how and if I decide, Kelly. We’re not like that. We fuck. That’s it. Now shut up and listen. I have some things to take care of, so I need you to deliver those packages.” He waits for a second and then starts pacing the dock before he growls in a deadly voice, “Kelly, if you don’t, when I come over, you will regret it and then I’m calling in a favor so no one ever finds you. So, you tell me now, do I need to make a call?” Not a second later, he says, “Good.” I hear him walking up and down the dock again as he ends the conversation, “I’ll be back tonight and I’ll stop by. I need to grab some stuff out of your storage, too,” he stops and looks back up the path. “Yeah, later.”