Falling Into Blue Read online

Page 6


  I can see him through the brush looking at the cabin so I step back further into the trees. My breathing is heavy and I’m sweating. What the hell was all that? Who did I get myself tangled up with? Who is this guy? I watch as he hangs up his phone and puts it in his back pocket. He picks up the boom box and grabs the handle of the ice chest. He takes a final look around and starts back up the dock towards the path. I can hear the ice chest rolling along the dock and I try not to panic but I’m failing. Oh fuck. What do I do? I decide to run through the trees, staying clear of the path until I hit the backyard of the cabin. I cut across the lawn and rush up the steps and hurry through the back door. Not sure what to do, I glance around and then run down the hall to the bedroom and rush to the bathroom. After locking the door, I turn and close the lid on the toilet and shakily sit down. I keep taking deep breaths, praying he didn’t see me. Shit, who was that guy? He sounded so mean, cruel, and dangerous. I need to leave but he’s my only way out. I don’t want him to know what I heard. For now, I just need to act like nothing has happened to completely freak me out. Like I didn’t just witness what I did. This isn’t helping—I’m still freaking out. I need more time to think about this. Deep cleansing breaths, Jaycee. I know, once I get back home, I’ll come up with something and break it off. If that doesn’t work, I’ll find a reason so bad, he’ll break it off. Yes, that’ll work. Okay. I stand up and go to the sink and wash my face again. After a few more deep breaths, I check myself over and then turn and open the bathroom door. I halt in my steps and yelp when I see Rocky sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for me. How long has he been there?

  “Hey baby. Come here,” he gestures to me. When I hesitate he tilts his head. “You okay, Jaycee?”

  I nod my head yes and try to smile, but I’m starting to shake again.

  “Well then, come here,” he’s smiling so he must not know anything. When I get close enough he pulls me to him and lies back on the bed with me on top of him. He reaches up and touches my cheek softly and then rolls us so he’s on top. He brings his lips down to mine and starts kissing me. I tense and he senses it. He stops and looks down at me. “Baby, are you having regrets?” he asks, frowning down at me.

  Yes, more than he knows, I think, but I reply, “No, just, I guess everything that happened yesterday is catching up to me. It was really fast,” I say as I look down and to the side, avoiding his eyes.

  “So, you are having regrets?” he asks as he hops off of me and stands up. Not waiting for a reply, he says abruptly, “Get your stuff. I’m taking you home. I don’t have time to talk about this bullshit right now.” When I lay there, shocked at his tone of voice, he walks over and bends down and puts his face to mine. “You getting up or do I need to get you up?”

  I slowly start to rise up and do as he told me but he doesn’t move. I stop and look back at him. I’m scared and he senses it, so he puts his hand to my chest and pushes me back until I’m flat on the bed again. My bottom lip starts trembling and I can’t stop the tears that slide from my eyes.

  He takes in my reaction and remorse fills his eyes as he drops his head. “I’m sorry, baby.” I release a breath I didn’t even know I was holding but the tears keep falling. He sits on the edge of the bed but turns back to me and puts his hands on the bed to the sides of my body. He leans into me and speaks softly, “I’m really sorry. I’ve got so much bullshit going on right now. I have to get back to town and take care of it when I just want to stay here, with you. It’s pissing me off that I can’t spend more time with you right now.” He reaches over with one hand and brushes my hair back from my forehead. He watches his hand as it goes down to my cheek where he wipes away my tears and then down my neck where his fingers stroke softly, “I’m going to get everything in order and then I’ll stop by later tonight.”

  He’s going to see whoever he was on the phone with. Another woman. He obviously has a relationship with her. All I want to do is get out of here and go home. Then I’ll tell him to keep away from me but for now I just nod, “I understand. It’s okay, Rocky.” I start to try and rise up again but he still doesn’t move. When I look back at him he’s still staring at me so I slowly lower myself back to the bed and look up at him.

  “Last night you made me a promise. Do you remember, baby?” When I don’t say anything he looks up at the wall in front of him and takes in a deep breath. I see his jaw tense and pulse, then he says, “Jaycee, you’re mine now,” he looks back down at me and continues, “not going to let you break that promise.” He sits back and exclaims, “Now, come here and kiss me right.”

  I sit up and scoot back a little and then lean in to kiss him. I tell myself to just do it and get it over with. When our lips touch, he licks my lips so I reluctantly let him in. When a groan of panic escapes from my mouth he mistakes it for a moan of pleasure and deepens the kiss. He lays us back down but my breathing escalates and I start to panic when he reaches for the button on my shorts. My hand shoots out and grabs his wrist to stop him. When I do, he stops and slowly lifts his head and glares down at me.

  I can see anger starting to take over his face again so I think quickly: “I’m kind of sore, Rocky.” I see and feel him slowly relax while watching me.

  “Sorry, baby,” he mutters and leans in and gives me a quick kiss and sits up. “I wasn’t thinking.” He pulls me up and tells me, “Get your stuff together and meet me in the kitchen. I need to load up the car.” As he stands, I throw my legs off the bed and stand too.

  “Okay, thank you for understanding,” I say, and he pulls me into a quick hug and walks out of the room. It seems like forever before I manage to move and start gathering up my stuff. I make the bed and pick up his clothes and look around the room for anything else I can do. I need to buy myself time so when I walk out there, he’ll be ready to leave. But this proves to be a mistake.

  When I finally grab my stuff and walk down the hall, I see him. His hands are flat on the counter, arms out straight and he’s looking down at something. The coffee cup I left sitting there before I walked down to the dock. Damn it.

  He pushes off the counter and looks out the window toward the dock. He slowly turns back and then his eyes scan the floor by the back door and travel down the hallway towards where I’m standing before he looks up and our eyes meet. He closes his eyes and clenches his fists. I look down to see what he is looking at, and I let out a soft whimper. There are traces of grass and twigs that I must have dragged in from running through the trees. He picks up the coffee cup and throws it against the wall and it shatters, sending coffee splattering against the wall and floor.

  When I scream in fear, he yells at me, “Come here, Jaycee, now!” I tell myself to just do what he says. I walk over to him but I’m barely able to keep standing. I’m so scared. He asks me, “Baby, did you walk down to the dock earlier?” When I don’t respond he takes my bags from me and sets them down and pulls me to the couch. Completely opposite to the violence he just showed, he gently guides me to sit down. When I do, he squats in front of me and says, “Baby? Not going to ask you again.” He waits. Finally, I give a jerky nod. I have no idea how this is going to go and I’m scared. “Jesus baby, that’s why you’re acting like this,” he sighs and closes his eyes for a few seconds but then looks back at me. “Baby, don’t know how much you heard, but Kelly, the girl I was talking to, is a friend of a guy I work with. Yes, we’ve been hooking up, but I don’t want that now. I want you. Honestly, even before this,” and he motions with his finger between him and I, “I’ve been trying to distance myself from her. No matter how many times I push her away and tell her it’s nothing more than us just fucking around, she ignores it and pushes for more. Problem is, she’s somehow heard about you already. She knows I’m up here with you and she’s pissed. She’s been storing some expensive car parts for a buddy and me in her garage and now she’s threatening to damage them because she’s jealous. After I drop you off I have to go over there and deal with her.
It’s going to suck because she’s going to give me a hard time about turning them over.”

  Okay, well that makes sense, I think, but the way he was talking so crude… Not anything like the Rocky I just spent hours with. Plus, his temper. I can’t deal with that. I whisper, “You scared me.”

  He lays his forehead down on my lap and talks into it. “I have a quick temper, Jaycee. I act out but I’d never ever hurt you, okay?” He lifts his head to look back up at me and says, “Please give us a chance. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me. Over time you’ll see.” When I look at him but don’t respond, he pleads, “Please?”

  Without thought, my hands act on their own and I reach up and cup his face with one hand and run my fingers through his hair with my other. Not twelve hours ago I gave myself to him. From the way I was raised, that act alone is a serious commitment. I need to give him a chance. He closes his eyes and then opens them again. He lifts his face to mine and we kiss. This time the kiss is real and I find myself responding. When I do, he leans up and comes over me so that I lie back on the couch. He brings himself down on top of me and our kissing turns heated. His lips travel down my cheek to my ear and he whispers, “You really sore, baby, or were you just mad at me before?” He starts bringing his kisses back. They’re soft and warm along my neck, my cheek, and back to my mouth.

  “Just upset,” I whisper back between kisses. With that, he reaches again for the button on my shorts and I reach for the hem of his shirt. When I pull up on his shirt, he stops trying to get my shorts off and raises his arms so I can pull it off. After I toss it to the floor, he’s back down on me. He looks deep into my eyes and then brings his lips back to mine and starts kissing me again. He breaks our kiss to lean down and get my shorts off. I bring my hands to his chest and run them up his warm skin until I reach his neck. I run my fingers through his hair at his neck while he’s looking down, struggling with the snap and zipper of my shorts. When he finally pulls them free of my legs, he drops them on the floor by his shirt. He starts kissing me again as he reaches down and undoes the button on his jeans. He lowers the front enough to release himself and after a couple of strokes he reaches for a condom from the pocket of his jeans. While holding himself, he rips open the package with his teeth and I watch as he rolls it down over himself.

  “Open for me, baby,” he whispers through a groan. I open my legs for him and he rubs himself up and down my entrance, preparing me. When he gets me wet and ready he starts moving inside me, slowly. Once he’s fully in, he takes a breath and lowers himself completely on top of me and kisses me sweetly, tenderly. I begin to writhe beneath him so he lifts up and starts moving again. It’s not long before he picks up his pace. His thrusts become hard and deep. I look up at him to see him watching me. When our eyes meet, they lock and he says, “I’m not letting you go, baby. You belong to me,” and he drops his lips back to mine and starts kissing me harder. I feel my muscles start to tense and tighten around him so I begin lifting my hips to meet his thrusts, needing more. I whimper into his mouth when I feel my orgasm building. He breaks our kiss to speak against my lips, “That’s right baby, keep going. Find it.”

  When I find it, I call out his name, “Rocky! God, yes, Rocky!” He starts moving faster and moments later, he follows me over. We lay like that for a while as I run my nails up and down his back and he drops kisses along my neck and collarbone. When he raises up he smiles down at me and I smile back.

  But his smile turns into a frown as he says, “Baby, let’s get cleaned up. We need to get on the road. The sooner I take care of this shit, the sooner I can get back to you.” My smile falls too. He pulls from me and stands up while looking at me and says, “Baby, you want to go with me to her place so I can prove it to you? To prove I’m done with her? I’m going to make it clear today anyway—I have to so she never misunderstands again. You can come but I have to warn you, she’s crazy. Like, legit crazy,” he says, and he shakes his head. “I had no idea when I started with her.” He pulls me up off the couch and leans down and picks up our clothes and hands me mine. “So, you can go, but I just think it’ll make her go even more nuts than she is and she’s been known to be violent,” he warns again.

  As I think about it I realize I should trust him. I’m new at all this and he probably knows better than me, so I reply, “No, you do what you have to do and I’ll talk to you later. Just be careful. You said she was crazy and violent. What if she comes at you? Please be careful.”

  I can tell he finds this amusing but he pulls me to an embrace as he assures me, “I’ll be okay.” He kisses my head and releases me but grabs my hand and leads me into the front bathroom. After he gets rid of the condom and I clean up, we get dressed. We walk back to the living room and grab our stuff and head out to his car.

  I sit down in the car and drop my tote and purse to the floorboard by my feet. I look back at Rocky and watch him as he locks up the cabin. The drive home is nice and quiet as we hold hands and I relax, staring at the beautiful scenery. When we pull up in front of my house he gets out and walks around to my side of the car, opens the door and reaches down to grab my bags. He takes me by the hand and pulls me out and walks me up the porch steps to the door. He sets my bags down by the door and pulls me into his arms. I look up at him to see he smiles before he leans down and kisses the crap out of me. When he stops and pulls back, I keep still, feeling dazed.

  “I’ll call you in a little bit, baby. Be good for me.” I come out of my fog and look at him. I must be blushing or something because he grins and then walks back down the steps to his car. After he’s in, his window rolls down and I see him putting on his Oakley’s and then his baseball cap. He looks over at me and smiles again and waves before he shifts into drive and pulls off down the driveway. I stand and watch until I don’t see his car and then head inside to my room.

  After a quick shower and change of clothes, I go looking around the house for my grandma and I find her out back hanging some bed sheets on the clothesline and pinning them with clothespins. No matter that we have a washer and dryer—if the weather is nice, our sheets are dried on the line and it’s the best smell and feeling ever. She looks over at me and then up and down and smiles. “Well?” she asks. I just stand grinning when she turns fully to me and smiles. “Tell me all about it, and although he seems like a nice boy, please tell me you used protection,” she says this as it makes me frown and I gag a little.

  “Good Lord, Grandma, stop,” I say as she just laughs.

  “Jaycee, how do you think I had your daddy and uncles? Immaculate conception?”

  I frown as I answer, “Yes, Grandma. I do,” and I walk off. Thinking she had babies any other way than special delivery from the stork or by a miracle of God is too much and will leave me scarred for life. I can still hear her laughing as I shudder and walk back in the house and grab us some sweet iced tea and then take them out to the front porch and wait for her.

  I’m swinging on the porch swing looking off into nothing, thinking and smiling when I hear the screen door open and shut. Grandma makes her way over to her rocker and grabs her glass of tea and takes a sip and then leans back in her chair and starts rocking. “Well?” she asks and I smile. “I really like him, Grandma. Like, I really like him.”

  I tell her all about their cabin and a little of what we did. We sit out on the front porch just enjoying the cooler weather of this Texas night since the sun has gone down. For a while, I’m just being still with my eyes closed enjoying the slight breeze, but my thoughts keep going to Rocky. I’m wondering if he’s okay since going to see that crazy woman, Kelly.

  After a while I can’t relax and I keep pulling my phone out of my pocket to make sure I haven’t missed his call. It’s getting later and later. Grandma and I decide on a light dinner and we make sandwiches. After we eat, we watch TV for awhile. I’m still checking my phone, but no call. Later, after Grandma’s gone to bed, I read for a while, still waiting for hi
s call. Before it gets any later, I break down and text him, asking if he’s okay and that I’m thinking about him but going on to bed and I’ll talk to him tomorrow. I wait some more and still nothing. I give up and go to sleep, but wake up when I hear my phone ringing. I grab it and roll on my side and look down at the screen. It’s not Rocky or a number I recognize, and normally I wouldn’t answer, but with Jesse calling from random numbers, I do. I answer and after I hear everything the person on the other end of the phone tells me, I feel all the air and energy leave my body and my heart breaks in two.

  “Hello?” I ask, confused. “Is this Jaycee?” I hear a woman’s voice say. It sounds hoarse, like she is sick or has been crying. “Yes, this is Jaycee. Who’s this?” I ask as I sit completely up in bed and wait. I hear a little laugh that sounds bitter and angry. “This is Kelly, you stupid bitch. I’m coming for you. He’s mine. You think you can take him from me?” she laughs again and I sit there, shocked. What the hell is going on? Who are these people? “Kelly, he told me he wasn’t yours. If he is, that’s something y’all need to work on.” I start to tell her goodbye when she starts talking again. “Listen, little virgin girl. I saw your scratches on his back. He may have liked that but I gave it better,” and she laughs again and my heart breaks. Did he tell her that? He shared that? Is she saying they had sex? “Just want to let you know he just left here and he’s coming to you but not before he fucked the hell out of me. He fuck you like that? Hmm, does he little virgin girl?”